friends

hey guys! how's it going? Happy New Year!! I really hope this year isn't as crappy as 2020 😅.

One of my biggest flexes is that i entered 2021 with the same friend i ended 2019 with. She's the best friend i ever had. I can tell her anything at all without having to be afraid of being judged or snitched. She's low key my therapist. She helps me out all the time and gives amazing advice when i'm lost. She is probably the only friend i ever had who i actually think might stick with me for the rest of my life.

I've always felt that friends are a major part of life. Like Barney Stinson said "Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary unless your friends are there to see it." I loved that quote (one main reason i watched How I Met Your Mother is because i read that quote somewhere). I want to have that one friend or those few friends that will put up with my BS and be there for me forever. Those few friends who will save your ass when you're in trouble and do legend...wait for it....DARY 😂 things with you and consider you one of the important people in their life and be always be happy for your successes and support you no matter the eff what.

I love my best friend. She is one of those people i go to with exciting news or one of those i go to when i'm confused and lost. We've been friends for almost 4 years or even more. We did have some conflicts but i eventually wounded up with her. I think of her when i think of the top 5 people in my life, and hopefully she does think of me too. I'm completely myself when i'm with her. I can talk any sort of shit and she'll listen to it.

But sometimes i can't help but wonder if we both will gradually drift apart. We both might end up going to different school in different countries and make new friends and eventually forget about the other person. I really don't want that to happen. I know i'm overthinking about something not that big or necessary, but it is big to me. I think that if i have the right friend with me i can get through anything. 

School friends don't remain friends later in life in many cases, but i want to beat the odds. I'm ready to, and i know i can. Except i'm not that sure if she wants to. She does tell me that we'll be friends even though we might go to different schools and meet new people but it just seems to be like something you would say to calm down a crying child; just an irrational promise. I really don't know if she wants to beat the odds too, if she hopes just as much as me that i will be her friend and stick with her through everything :/. 

I really hope that i've already met my real friend or that i will meet them, and they'll just be with with me no matter whatever the eff happens. That real friend could be anyone, my best friend, or someone i'll meet in collage, or someone from work, or anyone for that matter but i just hope i meet them.

What do you think will happen for me? Do you think i'll have the friends i'm hoping i will? Or do you think i'll just be a lone wolf? Do you guys have friends that you're sure will be with you through out? Do any of you feel that same way i do? If you do, then i would not like anything more than to hear about it in the comments or you can message me in private and tell me how you feel :)

Thanks for reading (if anyone actually has been reading)! I'll see you in the next post! Byeee!

S,

signing off, xxx.