That one feeling 🤕

 Wow. 11 views. that’s amazing you guys, thank you so much!! like seriously, i feel just as lucky as any celebrity who gets 2 million followers! you guys are amazing.
I know i haven't written lately, and that's partly because it was the first few weeks of 10th grade, and partly because i don't really know if anyone has been following up. If someone has, then i am so friggin sorry, and thank you so much 😛!

So there is something in particular i want to talk to you guys about today. Sometimes, when you're watching a rom com, and you see two people falling in love and making each other feel so lucky, do you just wonder if that would ever happen to you? Do you ever feel like you also want that? That feeling where one person you love actually loves you back, makes you feel so special and takes care of you, more than you take care of yourself.

Thinking about all of that, it just makes me feel.... well i hate to use the word, but makes me feel lonely. Makes me feel like maybe no one can ever feel that way about me. I don't want to be single, guys. I'm not single by choice. I don't even think my friends have the vaguest idea of what i feel, and tbh i'm afraid to say it to them, to be looked at like i'm stupid, to be thought of as desperate and needy. 

Many people might say that i'm still young, and that i have my whole life ahead of me, i completely agree. but i also believe that there is no right age to fall in love. it can happen anytime, when you're a kid, a teen , an adult, anytime. do any of you feel that then let me know. ( i know that when i say, 'comment down below and let me know' it sounds like i'm just tryna get more comments and followers, but it's not like that. i really wanna know, i wanna know if there is someone else like me, or if you think the same too, or if you wanna share your thoughts and opinions. trust me i will read every. single. one. :) )

I guess i just wanna feel all of that relationship stuff. first date, first kiss, bear hugs, notes, forehead kissed, good night texts, holding hands, electric touch, heart flips, butterflies, hugs from the back, and a lot more. gods. for i while, i didn't know that there was a part of me that wanted all of this.
You guys don't know me in person, but i'm not really a kind of person who expresses a lot of deep feelings. like i can go on and on about how an actor is hot (Matthew Daddario) or how some novel or series is amazing (too many), but i can't really talk to a person about all of this, no one for that matter. i guess i'm afraid of being judged.

I feel all of this, but also i think to myself, 'Dude, this is amazing. Like you don't have to be worried about telling him/ her before doing anything serious, or you don't have to worry about whether they're gonna like something you're doing, this is amazing.'. 
It's just so freaking messed up, i swear to god 😂. But, yeah, i do hope that someday i'm gonna experience al of that :).

So please please please please please pretty please let me know if you feel the same too kay? Guess we'll just vibe for a while ;). 
Also, any 1D or Harry Styles fans out there, HIT ME UP, DIRECTIONERS/ STYLERS! 
Also (lol), 11 views. love you guys, moon and back. 💖

S
signing off, xxx